I had a polite disagreement with my neighbour about where they park their car. The next day, their WiFi network changed its name to "NUMBER 12 COMPLAINS A LOT." I live at number 12. Everyone on the street can see it when they look for networks. I don't want to escalate things, but I also don't want to just accept being publicly roasted by a router. What do I do?
— Confused in CroydonBeing insulted by a WiFi name is the most modern humiliation available. A century ago they’d have had to paint it on a fence. Now they’ve done it with a router, which is lazier and somehow more personal.
And here’s the bit that stings: you are number 12, you did complain, and now the whole street is reminded every time someone tries to connect a printer. Your neighbour turned a parking dispute into infrastructure. That’s the most effort anyone on your street has put into anything since the bins changed day.
Rename your network in retaliation and you’ll spend the rest of your life fighting a war in a settings menu. Your headstone will read “NUMBER 12 REPLIED”.
The petty war is tempting. Don’t. Nobody wins except the street, which will be entertained for years and remember none of the details except that you lost.
The grown-up move, revoltingly, is to be the least interesting person in the story. Knock on their door. Say calmly that you saw the WiFi name, you’d rather keep things civil, and is there a compromise on the parking. No speeches. Petty people expect a fight. Calm confuses them.
And if that fails, at least your router is the bigger person. It’s the only thing in your house that is.