Privacy Policy

Short version: we collect as little as we can, we never sell it, and Zack is too tired to do anything sinister with it.

Who we are

This website (zackthesadist.com, “ZackTheSadist”, “we”) is a comedy and satire publication. You can reach us through the contact page.

What we collect

• Things you send us. When you use Ask Zack, the Hall of Bad Decisions, Personalized Demotivation or the contact form, we store what you type. Name and email are optional on public submission forms. Email addresses are never published.
• Newsletter sign-ups. Your email address, which lists you joined and when you confirmed. We use double opt-in: nothing is sent until you click the confirmation link.
• Reactions. When you react to a post we store an anonymous count. To stop duplicate reactions we keep a one-way hash of your IP address for up to seven days. We cannot reverse it into your IP.
• Spam protection. Forms use a hidden field, timing checks and a short-lived hashed-IP rate limit (one hour).
• Server logs. Our host keeps standard technical logs (IP address, browser, pages requested) for security and reliability.

What the generators do with your input

The Court of Bad Decisions, Future Predictor, Should I Text Them, translators and calculators run entirely in your browser. What you type there is not sent to us or stored.

Cookies

We do not use advertising or tracking cookies. Your browser may store small preferences (for example which reactions you already gave) in local storage. If we ever add analytics or advertising, we will update this page and ask for consent where the law requires it.

Published submissions

If you submit a question or a bad decision it may be edited for length and clarity and published, under your chosen name or as Anonymous. Ask us via the contact page and we will remove it.

Sharing

We do not sell or rent personal data. We may use trusted processors (hosting, email delivery, a newsletter service) to run the site; they process data only on our instructions.

How long we keep things

Submissions and messages: until you ask us to delete them or we no longer need them. Newsletter: until you unsubscribe (every email has a link). Unconfirmed sign-ups may be deleted after 30 days.

Your rights

Depending on where you live (for example under the UK/EU GDPR), you can ask to access, correct, export or delete your data, or object to how we use it. Contact us and we will respond within one month. You can also complain to your local data protection authority.

Children

This site is intended for adults and is not directed at children under 13.

Changes

We will update this page when anything changes. Last updated: 30 October 2026.