How to Use AI to Do Your Job Until It Does It Without You

We were promised technology would free us from work. It has. It has freed some of us from work entirely, and the rest of us from the work we were good at, replacing it with checking a machine’s homework.

Every office now expects you to be “leveraging AI,” which mostly means typing a question into a box, quietly fixing the answer before anyone sees, and training your replacement one prompt at a time.

One day an AI will write your eulogy. It will be confident, well-formatted, and it will get your name wrong.

Here’s how most people actually use AI at work. Gerald, wherever you are, we appreciate your contribution.

1. STEP 1Ask the AI to write your report.
2. STEP 2Receive a confident, well-formatted report.
3. STEP 3Notice it has invented a colleague named Gerald.
4. STEP 4Ask it to remove Gerald.
5. STEP 5It apologises and adds a second Gerald.
6. STEP 6Write the report yourself.
7. STEP 7Tell everyone you "used AI to speed things up."
8. STEP 8Read in the restructure email that your role is being "absorbed by tools." Gerald gets your desk.