You're "chronically online".
Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have a loading icon.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
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Newsletter / Issue No. 444
THE WEEKLY DISAPPOINTMENT
One email a week. Advice you didn't ask for, statistics about your decline, and observations that will quietly ruin your Sunday.
No spam. Just disappointment. Unsubscribe whenever you regain hope.