2026 Is the New 2016: I Recreated the Year and My Knees Filed a Formal Complaint
Everyone's recreating 2016: the dog filter, the Mannequin Challenge, the bottle flip. I tried a full weekend. My body has instructed a solicitor.
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#NOSTALGIA
In Loving Memory of the Group Chat, Dead at Four Years
The group chat died alone, beside a single unanswered meme. A cold eulogy for the chat that used to be everything and is now just birthdays.
MAKE THIS WORSE →Welcome to the Museum of My Childhood: Please Do Not Touch the Exhibits, Including Me
Exhibit 4: the landline, curly cord, zero privacy. A guided tour of a childhood that is now officially retro, led by a guide who is also…
MAKE THIS WORSE →Incident Report: A Teenager Played Me a Song and I Felt My Era End
A teenager asked if I'd heard the new song by someone I'd never heard of. I lied. Official incident report from the musically deceased.
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