The world's least qualified life coach. (allegedly)
SECTION · 8 FILES ON RECORD
Wildflowering: dating with no timeline, 'letting it grow naturally'. Seven months in, I've learned wildflowers mostly get mowed. An open letter.
MAKE THIS WORSE →Clear-coding means stating your dating intentions up front. When two clear-coders meet, it's a hostile takeover with breadsticks. Full transcript.
MAKE THIS WORSE →Micro-dating promises efficient 30-minute dates. I scored mine like a performance review. Punctuality: 4/5. Chemistry: insufficient. Outcome: managed exit.
MAKE THIS WORSE →They vanished for 47 days, then came back with 'heyyy stranger!!' like I was the one who left. A ghostlighting diary. I learned nothing. Twice.
MAKE THIS WORSE →One message. No reply. Thumb hovering. Before you double-text, complete this formal risk assessment. Spoiler: the hazard is you.
MAKE THIS WORSE →Is "ok." with a full stop a threat? Yes. How long before you reply? Irrelevant. An FAQ for anyone who has stared at the word "sure"…
MAKE THIS WORSE →From "we're just seeing where it goes" to calling them your partner at a barbecue and hearing nothing back. The five stages of defining the relationship.
MAKE THIS WORSE →"Love to travel" means Portugal, once, in 2019. A merciless translation guide to dating app bios, from someone who has wasted years reading them.
MAKE THIS WORSE →