ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The return to office is completely optional.
So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet there you are, ranked 41st. They're "reviewing" 41st.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- You say "it's not that deep" a lot. Your Notes app has 300 entries…
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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