ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
MONDAY, 28 SEPTEMBER 2026
Some people run marathons.
You run late, and you still come last.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- Your friends' group chat went quiet. It didn't. They made a new one. Same…
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- The first email you open on Monday is a reply-all from Friday. Forty replies.…
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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