How to Respond to Emails (Eventually, Never)

Email was invented so people could communicate instantly. It has since evolved into a system where people communicate eventually, with an apology at the top and “as per my last email” at the bottom.

The modern professional receives around 120 emails a day. About three require action. The skill isn’t replying to all of them. The skill is waiting long enough that most of them stop requiring anything, including your employment.

When you’re gone, your out-of-office will keep working. It will be the most reliable thing you ever set up.

I call this approach “patience.” My manager calls it something else, but she sent it by email, so I haven’t seen it yet.

1. STEP 1Open an email.
2. STEP 2Mark it as unread so you "remember to reply."
3. STEP 3Forget completely.
4. STEP 4Find it three weeks later, under 400 newer ones.
5. STEP 5Begin your reply with "Apologies for the delay."
6. STEP 6Realise the issue resolved itself, and the person who sent it has left the company.
7. STEP 7Archive. Feel efficient.
8. STEP 8Receive a follow-up from their replacement, titled "Chasing."