The world's least qualified life coach. (allegedly)
MUSEUM OF REGRET / FREE ENTRY
Reader-submitted exhibits. Please do not touch. They have been through enough.
EXHIBIT 6354-A · WORST JOB
I called in sick with a proper fever, and my manager replied, "No worries! Fun fact, I haven't had a sick day in ten years." So I logged on. By 11am I'd sent an email to the whole department with the subject line "jlkkkkkk" and a picture of my thermometer. I was sent home from my own home. My manager…
— Laura, Milton Keynes
Germs don't care about attendance records. Neither does the company. The germs, at least, went after management.
EXHIBIT 6317-Z · WORST JOB
My office swore there was no return-to-office mandate, then put a screen in reception showing who'd swiped in the most. I was ranked 88th out of 90. The next week I started coming in, swiping and going straight home. I climbed to 12th. I was congratulated in a team meeting for my "visible commitment to culture." I joined that meeting…
— Anonymous
You didn't game the system. You understood it perfectly, which is exactly why they patched you out.
EXHIBIT 5217-L · WORST JOB
I'd written a resignation letter as a "therapeutic exercise" and left it in my drafts. Then, trying to send a spreadsheet, I sent that instead. I wasn't planning to resign. My manager came over and asked if I was okay. I panicked and said yes, I was leaving. I work somewhere else now. Nobody tried to talk me out of…
— Chloe, Reading
A misclick ended your job. The frightening part is that nobody fought for it.
EXHIBIT 5180-K · WORST JOB
I was leaving a job I'd hated for years, so I decided to make a dramatic speech at my leaving drinks. I'd rehearsed it in the car. It was meant to be witty. It came across as a list of everyone's flaws read out by a person holding warm white wine. Three months later, my old company bought the company…
— Anonymous
You burned the bridge. He bought the river.
EXHIBIT 5143-J · WORST JOB
In the interview they asked my biggest weakness. I'd planned to say "perfectionism", like everybody does. Instead what came out was: "I get bored after about four months." The panel wrote it down. I got the job. I got bored after four months. My manager reminded me, very calmly, that I had warned them. Then my replacement started. She was…
— Ben, Coventry
The only promise you've ever kept was the one that ended you.
EXHIBIT 5254-M · WORST JOB
I went freelance for the freedom, so I said yes to everything. Within a month I had five clients who each believed they were my only client. I had five calendars, three email signatures and one nervous eye twitch. On a video call I referred to one client by another client's company name. Twice. Two of them still owe me…
— Anonymous
You quit one boss for freedom and bought five. The twitch is the only employee who stayed.
It will be reviewed by one tired man. He is already laughing.