LITTLE CRANSWICK —
A Little Cranswick man has booked a day off work to recover after opening an email, describing the act as “a huge step for me” and “honestly a lot.”
Josh Pellow, 24, said the email had been sitting in his inbox for three weeks, “glowing at me like a threat.” On Monday, after a cup of tea and what he called “a little pep talk,” he clicked on it.
The email, from his dentist, confirmed an appointment he had already missed. “I’m choosing to focus on the positive,” Pellow said. “I opened it. That’s growth. The teeth can wait. The teeth have waited this long.”
Pellow celebrated by posting a photo of his laptop with the caption “small wins x”. It received 41 likes, including one from his manager, who later asked why Pellow would not be in on Tuesday.
Workplace psychologist Dr Ruth Ambler said the behaviour was increasingly common. “For many people the inbox is no longer a tool. It is a haunted house. They walk past it every day, and they hear noises.”
She recommended opening emails in small batches, setting a timer and remembering that most emails are about printers.
At press time, Pellow had 1,214 unread messages and had begun a “gentle” plan to open one per week, starting next month.
This article is satire. The people, places, quotes and studies described are fictional.