ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- Move fast and break things. You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- You put "open to work" on LinkedIn. Six recruiters viewed your profile. Five were…
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- You said "it's giving" about your own life. It's giving overdraft. It's giving rent…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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