ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- The council listened to your feedback. Then it did the thing anyway, but with…
- You are exactly where you're meant to be. That should frighten you more than…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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