LITTLE WOBBLING —
A Little Wobbling man spent 40 minutes choosing something to watch while eating his dinner on Tuesday, finished the dinner during the search, and then watched nothing.
Dan Hollis, 23, sat down at 7pm with a plate of pasta and the intention of watching “something light.” He began scrolling through four streaming services, three of which he forgot he was paying for.
Over the next 40 minutes, Hollis watched three trailers, read the description of a documentary about the making of another documentary, and started an episode of a show he has seen eleven times “just to check it’s still good.” It was. He switched it off.
By 7:40pm the pasta was gone. “I looked down and the plate was empty,” Hollis said. “It was like the food had happened to someone else. I didn’t taste it. I was thinking about a crime drama with 4.1 stars.”
Dr Nina Patel of the Centre for Choosing Things said the experience was nearly universal. “When there are thousands of options, we keep searching for the perfect one. The perfect one doesn’t exist. Pick the second thing you see and press play.”
Hollis said he would try the advice tomorrow, and then spent twenty minutes choosing which podcast to listen to while falling asleep.
At press time, the pasta had been described by Hollis as “probably nice.”
This article is satire. The people, places, quotes and studies described are fictional.