ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Growing old is mandatory.
Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later. Nothing happened.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- You've got a side hustle, a passion project and a podcast. Combined monthly income:…
- You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback. It cost three…
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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