ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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