UPPER WIDDLECOMBE —
An Upper Widdlecombe side hustle has reported its best quarter ever, with total earnings of £11, every penny of which came from the owner’s nan.
Ruby Danvers, 20, launched “Ruby’s Little Bits,” a handmade jewellery business, in July after watching a video titled “How I Make £10k a Month From My Bedroom.” She spent £140 on beads, £60 on a ring light and £29 a month on a website subscription.
The business has sold two bracelets, both to Mrs Joan Danvers, 81, who paid £5.50 each and described them as “lovely, very colourful.” She has worn them to bingo and is said to be “the business’s most loyal customer and only customer.”
“Revenue is revenue,” Ruby said. “Every big brand started small. I’m in my growth phase. Nan’s basically an investor.” She is now planning a podcast about entrepreneurship.
Business analyst Dr Martin Crewe said early side hustles often look like this. “The first customer is usually family. That’s fine. The trick is to count your costs honestly, find a second customer who isn’t related to you, and not buy a ring light until you have one.”
Ruby said she is projecting “massive” growth next quarter, as it is her nan’s birthday and Christmas.
At press time, Mrs Danvers had placed an order for a third bracelet, “for the other wrist,” sending quarterly revenue into what Ruby described as “a new era.”
This article is satire. The people, places, quotes and studies described are fictional.