ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every relationship has a honeymoon period.
Yours was the walk from the bar to the taxi rank. She got in alone.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- Parenthood is a long journey from "mama" to "can you send money" to them…
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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