ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
TUESDAY, 17 FEBRUARY 1998
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- The award show ran four hours. The only winner was the advert break.
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- The council listened to your feedback. Then it did the thing anyway, but with…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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