ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The customer is always right.
The customer is also on hold, forever, which is exactly how the company likes it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Dress for the job you want. The job you have will see you in…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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