ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Monday has its own support group. The group is everyone. The meetings are also…
- Some meetings could have been an email. You'll spend four years of your one…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- The first email you open on Monday is a reply-all from Friday. Forty replies.…
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life. Someone will…
- Love is patient. Your partner is not, and has started a note on their…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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