ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The battle pass costs £9.99 a season.
Your childhood cost nothing and had better rewards.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- The first email you open on Monday is a reply-all from Friday. Forty replies.…
- Monday has its own support group. The group is everyone. The meetings are also…
- Wildflowering means letting the relationship grow naturally, with no timeline. It has the growth…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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