ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You received 40 fundraising texts today.
Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- Start the week strong. Or at 9:14, camera off, pretending your face is a…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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