ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The customer is always right.
The customer is also on hold, forever, which is exactly how the company likes it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch. Quiet budgeting is going anyway,…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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