ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You say you're "an old soul".
You're 21. The only old thing about you is your phone's battery health.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch. Quiet budgeting is going anyway,…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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