ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your friends' group chat went quiet. It didn't. They made a new one. Same…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Move fast and break things. You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your…
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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