ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
TUESDAY, 31 DECEMBER 2024
The in-office lunch is optional.
The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is writing down who didn't come. Then who did, but looked replaceable.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch. Quiet budgeting is going anyway,…
- You reinstalled Pokémon Go to get your steps up. Eleven kilometres later you'd caught…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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