ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
True love is choosing the same person every day.
They're choosing, daily, whether to mention your chewing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
- The first email you open on Monday is a reply-all from Friday. Forty replies.…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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