ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You say you're "an old soul".
You're 21. The only old thing about you is your phone's battery health.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
- Nobody notices when you do your job well. Everyone notices when you leave at…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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