ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Beach body ready?
The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't waiting for you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- Hard work pays off eventually. It's paying off right now. Your boss just bought…
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- Find your purpose. It's in the drawer with the takeaway menus and a key…
- The best time to start saving was twenty years ago. The second-best time was…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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