ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life.
Someone will close them after the funeral. Unread.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway. Written down…
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- You are a valued member of the team. So was the last person in…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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