ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
True love is choosing the same person every day.
They're choosing, daily, whether to mention your chewing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- The house will be tidy again one day. The day they move out. Tidy,…
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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