ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Abs are made in the kitchen.
So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Core collaboration days started as Tuesday. They now include Wednesday, Thursday, a Friday that's…
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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