ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see my screen?"
You can. You always will.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
- AI agrees with you more than any human ever has. That's not wisdom. That's…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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