ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your step counter used to set goals.
Now it just sends "Hello?" like a relative checking you're still alive.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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