ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your soft launch was a hand in a photo.
The hard launch never came. The hand has since soft-launched someone else.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- Some meetings could have been an email. You'll spend four years of your one…
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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