GREAT MUDSWORTH —
An invented survival game that has been in Steam Early Access since March 2019 has announced it is “nearly there”, and has asked players for continued patience and a further £19.99.
The announcement, posted by the invented Great Mudsworth studio Thrumbley Works, thanked players for “seven incredible years of support” and introduced a new Founder’s Supporter Pack, containing a hat and “a place in the credits”.
“We know the community has been patient,” said an invented community manager. “We just want to say: we see you, we hear you, and we have a new hat.”
The game’s roadmap, unchanged since 2021 except for the names, lists the final update as arriving “when it’s ready”. Fans have been tracking the phrase. It has appeared in 34 announcements.
Long-time player Rhiannon Price, 29, bought the game at 22. “I’ve had three jobs and two flats since I started,” she said. “The menu is lovely now, though. They’ve done the fog.”
Industry observers said the model was very good for the studio, which earns money regularly, receives no complaints that matter, and has no deadline.
Price has bought the pack. She says it’s the last time.
It isn’t. It never is.
This article is satire. The people, places, quotes and studies described are fictional.