NETHER STOWFIELD —
A Nether Stowfield woman has said she “took it personally” when Netflix asked “Are you still watching?” for the fourth time during a single Saturday, and has called the question “a form of bullying, from a television”.
Claire Dunmore, 44, was eleven episodes into a true-crime documentary series when the prompt appeared. “It was the tone,” she said. “It didn’t need to ask. It knew. It has my viewing history. It was just letting me know that it knew.”
Dunmore said she pressed “Continue watching” each time, “to prove a point”, and finished the series at 3:40am. “I still don’t know who did it,” she said. “I don’t think the documentary knew either. But I won.”
A spokesperson for the invented Bureau of Screen Time Accountability said the prompt is now the only moment in a modern weekend when anyone checks on you. “It’s the closest thing to a welfare call some people get,” he said. “It’s just that it’s from a subscription.”
Dunmore’s family did not ask whether she was still watching. They knew.
She has cancelled the subscription twice this year. It came back both times, like an ex.
This article is satire. The people, places, quotes and studies described are fictional.