Every year, the world gathers for a climate summit. This year it’s COP31, in Antalya, Türkiye, from 9 to 20 November. Tens of thousands of delegates, officials, campaigners, journalists and lobbyists will arrive to discuss the most serious problem facing humanity, and most of them will fly there to do it.
Nobody is pretending this is ideal. There is no way to hold a global meeting without the globe turning up. But it does create a very particular kind of suitcase. Here it is. My notes are in bold.
Essentials
- A lanyard. The lanyard is the most important item. It decides which rooms you can enter and which you can only stand outside.
- A reusable coffee cup, to be photographed with.
- Three suits, for three days of urgent talks, and a fourth for when the talks are extended into the weekend, as they always are.
- A phrase book containing only: “ambitious”, “roadmap”, “we must go further” and “subject to review”.
The reusable cup will be in more photos than any agreement.
Documents
- A draft agreement, with the important words in square brackets.
- A second draft, with fewer brackets and less meaning.
- A final text that “notes”, “welcomes” and “encourages”, which are the diplomatic words for “does not require”.
Brackets are where the promises go to be negotiated into a softer shape. The final text has no brackets. It also has no teeth.
A word from the summit
“This is a decisive moment for the planet,” said a spokesperson for the invented Office of Ambitious Roadmaps. “We fully expect to agree on a timetable for agreeing on the next timetable, which we believe sends a very strong signal.”
Every summit sends a very strong signal. The planet keeps not receiving it.
Do not forget
- Sun cream. Antalya is warm in November. Warmer than it used to be, as it happens.
- A charger. Negotiations run past midnight on the final night, every year, by tradition.
- Your flight home, booked for the day after the summit is scheduled to end, in case it ends on time. It won’t.
What it’s actually for
To be fair, these meetings matter. Agreements made at summits like this have shaped what countries promise, measure and report. Progress is real. It is also slow, partial and always arriving a little after the deadline it set itself.
The suitcase comes home lighter. The targets move back five years.
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