ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark.
There wasn't. She knew in four minutes. You paid for both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Limited-time event. Will not return. Neither will your Saturday.
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- You can't take money with you when you go. Your direct debits, however, will…
- You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- The documentary is unfiltered. It took seven people to remove the filter.
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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