ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad.
The news is still bad. Your eyes are warmer. So is your overdraft.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- The consultation runs for twelve weeks. The decision was made in week zero.
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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