ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The customer is always right.
The customer is also on hold, forever, which is exactly how the company likes it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The consultation runs for twelve weeks. The decision was made in week zero.
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- The council listened to your feedback. Then it did the thing anyway, but with…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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