ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle.
The kettle will outlast the excitement. Possibly you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
- Your startup is a chatbot that tells customers they're right. Investors loved it. The…
- You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- When you're gone, the one who misses you most will be the algorithm. It…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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