ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway. Written down…
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- You can't take money with you when you go. Your direct debits, however, will…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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