MANCHESTER —
Lifestyle influencer Tamsin Vale, 34, has announced she is “taking time away from social media” to protect her peace, and has posted about the decision eleven times in four days.
The posts include a black-and-white photo of a cup of tea (“logging off x”), a carousel titled “Why I’m logging off”, a 22-minute YouTube video titled “I’m logging off (raw)” and a newsletter, “Notes from offline”, which subscribers receive every morning.
“It’s important to be present,” Vale said in an Instagram story filmed in a wellness retreat whose name appears in the corner. “That’s why I’m sharing this. So you can be present too. Use my code PRESENT20.”
Her podcast, Vale-idated, has released a special episode about the detox, recorded during the detox.
A spokesperson for the invented Bureau of Online Absence said the announced social media break is now a recognised content format. “Being offline used to mean you couldn’t be seen,” she said. “Now it means you can be seen not being seen. It’s a very good angle.”
Vale is expected to return to social media next week, with a post titled “What I learned offline”.
Its first line is a discount code.
This article is satire. The people, places, quotes and studies described are fictional.