ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- Core collaboration days started as Tuesday. They now include Wednesday, Thursday, a Friday that's…
- Move fast and break things. You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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