ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
FRIDAY, 6 NOVEMBER 2015
The consultation runs for twelve weeks.
The decision was made in week zero.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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