ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
- Your chatbot calls every one of your ideas "a really insightful question". Zack has…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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