ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- The pothole is on the list. The list is dynamic. The pothole is permanent.
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- Hard work pays off eventually. It's paying off right now. Your boss just bought…
- You can do anything you set your mind to. Your mind has set itself…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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