ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime.
They said that last time. Your lifetime is very important.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The retirement age goes up a year every time you check. It's not a…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- You reinstalled Pokémon Go to get your steps up. Eleven kilometres later you'd caught…
- Wildflowering means letting the relationship grow naturally, with no timeline. It has the growth…
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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